The Thought Shower Diary

Today I might have gotten close to understanding what is it to be lost. I guess all these I felt it but never really admitted to it or even dealt with it. Today I assisted my mother in kitchen to prepare some dahi puris. It was work. It took us atleast one hour to every element before putting it together. But the sad truth was when I sat down to eat it, the pleasure of enjoying the tangy spicy chat lasted a mere two minutes. That is the time I took to finish the plate and soon after I starting feeling low. It felt pointless to have worked for 45 minutes for a pleasure that lasted only two minutes. It then went on to me feeling gasy and then extremely the low. The feeling was of wanting to cry out loud.But I was doing it internally. My husband who is in a different state thought it was because I didn't have a job. But after countless hours of going through the emotion and numerous attempts trying to escape it...it came down to why do I really feel this way occassionally?

                       "Stand out beautifully" Dearest Leah or Liam, I hope you are doing fine. It's just been a week since you arrived and I already feel so different. It's as if I walk with two minds - one of my own and one yours.  As you come into the world and start growing, you will notice that there will be times when our minds will be in conflict. I know at every point in time I will want the best for you but your idea of the same might be different. This might make you a tad bit upset which is natural.  I want you to know that let alone me, this world that you are going to be a part of will try very hard to change everything that you are. But it's your job to find yourself and create your own voice amidst the cacophony of numerous voices. I will always respect you if you stand up for yourself provided you don't do anything illegal or damaging to yourself or the people around you. I will do everything in my power to protect you but at the en